I figure that the blogosphere is filled with many my child has starting school posts, how the parent felt, how their child felt, what the child did on their first day. It’s a big deal right! Like we once cradled these helpless little beans and now they are shipped off five days a week. I say shipped off lightly but really it’s the truth, not all kids wake up and go yay school- my nephew doesn’t for sure. I have said I’m proud that my son has taken to school really well but that doesn’t make him better than a child who shill craves his parents constant presence, every child learns in their own time that school is not a scary place. Every child deserves the reassurance even my son who says yeah I love it but I miss nursery. I have no advise, no words of wisdom other than it’s okay for a child to cry, it’s okay for a parent to cry it’s a big deal. We don’t remember seeing kids cry in year 1 so in that year, before year 1 a day comes when a child has their last tear from something so scary. What makes me sad is thinking about the four years I had such freedom with my child, to do what we wanted on weekdays. I want to reflect on the things we could do, the things we’ve learnt together and the moments I’ll never get back.

Firstly I remember the day my child was born, I remember his first birthday and each birthday after. Each year showing more and more of an interest to do things independently.

I remember his first little hair cut and how excited he was. The hair dresser was so impressed with how still he was.

My favourite memories are the messy ones. My son has always wanted to do things himself, there’s no I’ll do it in a minute as he will take it upon himself to do it.

Our weekdays weren’t about living in a routine we were always free to do what we wanted and when. If it was sunny we could set up the paddling pool, now I fear on sunny beach days I’ll be sat at home wishing for those days of freedom. Yes I can take Luna to the beach but a piece of me will be missing.

His first proper story was on Christmas Eve 2014. We read now every night which is something I feel is even more special, we climb into my bed and read a book, with Luna trying to rip it. We miss him in the day so to get cuddles off both my kids is everything.

Talking of Christmas do you think I can get away with dressing my son up again like below? Also I am gutted that lots of Christmas events that are held on weekdays will be missed by us. When I think ah I’ll just take Luna to them I feel really guilty like I am cheating him out of things, If I could go back to last year I would say girl enjoy these day time adventures seeing Santa’s reindeer.

We spent rainy week days doing baking or crafts which we will now have to do in the evenings or on weekends.

There was a day he use to look at me with helpless little eyes needing me for everything, Those eye now search for my approval in everything.

I love that I have Luna to keep me busy in the day as she reminds me of him when he is not here. I’m glad they have had six months to become close, he knows that we will both be at the door to pick him up at three – Luna gets the first kiss and cuddles. I find myself counting down the day waiting to hear what he’s been up to. Not that he tells me! I’m so use to getting a handover from nursery that it baffled me to not get one from the teachers, I get a uhm I climbed a tree and then I don’t remeber. My heart is slightly sulking right now as four years have gone way too fast, I don’t want to share him with teachers. When I was leaving yesterday morning the teachers smiled and said go home put your feet up you have done your bit. I didn’t really like that comment, done my bit? As in walking him to school or the raising him up to this point? Is he still my child? Obviously he is but more thoughts came across my mind. How do separated parents cope? To also have to split the weekends as well as school days. I’m not planning on being single but the thought made me realise how lucky I am to have a stable relationship. How do working parent also cope? To work all day then be super tired in the evenings, to tired to enjoy finally seeing their kids. I don’t plan on working much when my maternity leave ends as I want to take my son to school, pick him up and have dinner on the table at a decent time. I’m fortunate to be able to hardly work and I worship the parents who juggle it all. I guess each adventure has a different story, no lives are the same. School is an adventure were they will meet friends or possibly friends for life. They will learn to write, to read, to be around people which I guess we want them to do so it’s good to remind ourselves why it’s an important step in life. I will in a year write what my son learnt and how he has nourished. How did you feel when your kid/s started school?