I wrote this last Christmas as well as a handful of other posts but never shared them. I wanted to blog still and enjoy life but struggled big time, I felt so tired and tired of trying so hard to enjoy life yet I just wanted to hibernate. I made the decision to write a lot of stuff for myself to have but not share it with anyone. I always feel so private when pregnant, I can’t even make sense of it all in my head. I guess life can feel uncertain at times so until I felt comfortable in my life I shut the world out. I am glad I wrote this post though and hope you enjoy it as looking back I had a beautiful end to 2017.

The Christmas decorations have been down for weeks, toys still fill the living room and my son is already asking when is it Christmas again. I couldn’t handle another Christmas anytime soon but that’s not to say that Christmas 2017 wasn’t amazing. Really I think it has been our favourite Christmas as parents. our son was in his three-year old element with now understanding everything, especially Santa. He knows most of the Christmas songs, how to make a gingerbread house, how to make paper chains and the list goes on. Next year he will be keen to relive all of the magic I reckon. At what age did your child/ren seem fully aware of the festive season that’s filled with so much fun? I haven’t posted in forever so I thought I’d start my first 2018 post with a reflection on the past month or so. With a baby due in 40 days, 40! I have no goals as let’s be real who knows what a new bundle of joy brings when it comes to time for doing things.

Christmas costa coffee

This post is photo heavy as we were very fortunate that I hardly worked, yes to saving A/L hours. I also felt determined to not let pregnancy get in the way, it was hard, I have felt like rubbish 90% of the time. I am proud of myself while looking at these photos for missioning on. The first lot of photos are of our a trip to see Santa.

Rob and Logan Farley

Christmas lights

Christmas lights

Christmas lights

Logan and Rob Farley

visting santa

we have spent a lot of time getting creative. I am shocked that I didn’t take one photo of our paper chains or our handmade Christmas cards, they were really good. I have luckily got pictures of our gingerbread houses that we spent hours on.

IMG_3225

I am a sucker for seasonal themed treats so when I spotted some chocolate lollies to decorate they had to come home with me. Things like that are perfect for rainy days.

IMG_3234

IMG_3236

We brought a real Christmas tree that I neglected to water so by Christmas we ended up with a fake one. You can see by the below picture the aftermath from just moving the real tree.

IMG_3249

Rob took my mum, sister and me up to Exeter to do a spot of Christmas shopping. I think we head there every year just to soak up that festive feeling with all of the decorations up.

IMG_3265

Every year I put a lot of effort in wrapping the Christmas presents.

IMG_3320

Rob took us all to Trengwainton Garden for a lantern walk which they do every year, I waddled around feeling rather uncomfortable but it was worth it. It was hard to get photos with it being so dark.

IMG_3069

We go out for a meal every year with Robs family, as you will see below my bump is very much there now, my bladder sure feels it! Rob and I don’t have many pictures with each other so it’s nice that we have one of us with my bump to add to our photo album.

IMG_3583

partner

We did get another photo together on Christmas Day. I hope we get one as a family of four next year.

IMG_3378

Christmas Day was so hard as I could have happily slept the day away, I loved watching the day through my sons eyes but felt really sad for not feeling energetic and normal. Don’t get me wrong we had a great day, but for me personally, I would never be pregnant over Christmas again. I was happy to eat lots of food of course.

IMG_3340

IMG_3334

IMG_3005

I didn’t write anymore as I read back through the post sighed and closed my laptop. Now a year on I can see that I found it really hard to write with happiness, you can tell by my writing how uninterested I was to blog about Christmas while I felt so fed up. I felt like I had deprived my son of a good Christmas, that I had let him and myself down for not feeling fit and ready for lots of adventures when I did give him that. I found it hard to enjoy those moments myself when I just wanted to be in bed. Looking back I think I was slightly depressed for many reasons last year but soon enough in the new year I came out of that hole, I did mission on and still did the things I needed to do. This year I am going to go all out with everything. I just showed my son the photos and he remembered everything! That itself has made me determined to give him plenty more memories to cherish.

IMG_3248